Doctor Who: Irrefutable Proof I'm a Nerd

I really, really like Britain.  It's what I'm writing my dissertation on (well, mostly), and when it's disgustingly hot out I love nothing more than watching British murder mysteries and pretending that it's actually 50 degrees and rainy.  I'm also a huge nerd.  So it's kind of weird that it took me so long to get into Doctor Who, which is one of (if not the) longest running shows in Britain.  I haven't seen the "classic" version of Doctor Who because there's like 40 million seasons and I just don't have that kind of attention span, but I *have* seen most of the new version, which began in 2005.  It's impossible to describe the show without sounding like a massive dork, but I'll do my best.





Doctor Who is about a time-and-universe-travelling alien and his human companion, who is more often than not a really pretty lady.  The reason the show has continued for so long is that the Doctor can regenerate into an entirely different body, meaning the main character can be replaced pretty much whenever with no continuity issues.  Also, his name is just "the Doctor," which leads to inevitable hilarity when he introduces himself:

 --"Hello, I'm the Doctor."
 --"Doctor who?"
--"Just the Doctor."

HAHAHAHA GET IT?  Anyway, Doctor Who is a charmingly terrifying family show, as the Doctor and his Companion travel through the universe and time, having adventures, solving problems, and not noticing that the CGI effects look like someone created them on an Apple II GS.  Sometimes, these adventures involve absolutely horrifying alien creatures, making me glad I never watched it as a kid because I was queen of the chickenshits, and I'd probably have loved the show but also been frightened by it, leading to me claiming not to be scared but actually being unable to sleep, and also unable to tell my parents because then they'd sensibly suggest I *not* watch a show that scares the crap out of me.  True story:  this actually happened with a Halloween episode of SeaQuest DSV (shut up).  Since Doctor Who has a revolving cast of Doctors and Companions, I'll briefly describe each one, and then leave y'all with a list of the best episodes/episodes to start with, since getting into Doctor Who is sort of a daunting task.


The first Doctor in the reboot is actually the ninth version of the Doctor, so for simplicity's sake you can just call him Nine.

I'm not so sure about his face.

The Doctor is a Time Lord, a semi-immortal alien species that was once involved in a "Time War" with the Daleks.  The Daleks are hilariously garbage-can-looking aliens, but I guess they're the Big Bad of the series.  I'm not 100% sure what happened, but the Doctor is now the only Time Lord left, and he definitely has a dark side.  Each incarnation of the Doctor is slightly different, and Nine is probably my least favorite.  He's a weird mix of angry and manic, and just not my cup of tea.  (A brief search of the internet has found this opinion to be heresy.  Oh well).


David Tennant plays Ten, replacing Christopher Eccleston after only one season.

MVP line:  Why?  BECAUSE I'M VERY CLEVER.

The tenth Doctor is probably my favorite, although Eleven is a close second.  He's a lot less angry than Nine, and in general a lot more relatable.  He's incredibly witty, and even though he gets a little "Christ figure" there at the end of his tenure, he's just the best.


The current Doctor is the eleventh, and while he's my second favorite Doctor he's got my first favorite hair.

"Bow ties are cool."--The Eleventh Doctor,
and also my dad.

MVP line for Eleven:  "This next bit isn't going to be too big on dignity."

Eleven is probably the happiest Doctor, or at least the least melancholy.  Hey, it's hard being the last of your race, and also semi-immortal.  His regeneration also brought a brand new TARDIS (Time And Relative Dimension In Space) which is the Doctor's spaceship.  It's a little rusty, and as a result it no longer camouflages itself well, and is stuck as a bright blue 1960s London police box.


Nine's only companion is Rose, and she sticks around for the first bit of Ten as well.

I think Rose would be a lot of fun to drink with.

Rose is a poor girl from London with not much going on in her life.  She's got a bit of a romance going with the Doctor, although it never really caught my attention, but judging by the internet's reaction I'm the only one who feels that way.  She's plucky and adventurous, and unflinchingly loyal.  She also fully embraces her lower class habits, and I like that about her.


After Rose comes Martha.

She's a badass.

Personally, I think Martha gets short shrift from Doctor Who fans.  She's sandwiched between two of the most popular companions, and at first her only real character trait is "She's a real doctor and in love with the Doctor, but he's still in love with Rose."  But I think Martha is great, and she also pretty much single handedly saved the world *and* the Doctor at the end of her time as companion.  It's hard to top that.  Plus, she's around for "Blink" and the "Human Nature/Family of Blood" two-parter, which are three of the best episodes, in my opinion.


Oh, Donna Noble.  I had no idea I'd like you so much.

I like to pretend her character on The Office is just Donna Noble
messing with everyone.  It makes it a lot funnier.

Donna's first episode is an absolute trainwreck, and she completely sucked.  She was shrill and annoying and not funny at all, but fortunately they seem to have completely rewritten her character between her first and second appearances.  Donna is a refreshing change from the Rose-Martha-Doctor angst triangle, as she pretty much just sees Ten as a good buddy to have adventures with-- and do they ever.


Lastly, the current companion(s) is Amy Pond and her loyal boyfriend/fiance/husband, Rory.

I love them, and not just because my husband has said that the
woman who plays Amy should also play me in the biopic of our life,
although that's probably a big part of it.

Amy joins Eleven shortly after he regenerates (er, sort of) and eventually Rory comes on board as well. Amy Pond is hands down my FAVORITE companion, although Rory gives her a run for her money.  I think I like Amy and the Doctor's story the best:  he shows up when she's seven and says he'll be right back, but then because the TARDIS isn't too reliable he doesn't make it back until she's in her twenties.  Meanwhile, everyone in her small town thinks "the Doctor" is her imaginary friend-- leading to an amazing moment when he shows up to a party and announces "Hello, everyone.  I'm Amy's imaginary friend, but I came anyway."  There's a lot more joy in this version of the Doctor, and Amy helps bring that out.  Plus, Amy being a companion means Rory comes too, and man, I f*cking love Rory.  He's the sweetest guy imaginable, and so dedicated to Amy, but not a spineless wimp.  I'm not a huge fan of the "Does Amy really love the Doctor?" bit they played up at first, but that seems to be mostly settled now, and thank god because TEAM RORY.


Episodes to start with:  If you're unsure, I suggest watching these three episodes, and then deciding if you want to continue (the whole series is on Netflix instant).  There's a lot going on, but it isn't LOST, so you should be able to pick things up from these three and then start at the beginning of the second season (which is how I did it).

"Blink."  Blink is actually an episode from the third season, but it's a great intro to the time traveling elements, even if the Doctor is only a minor character.  It's about a race called Weeping Angels, which are statues that can't move as long as you're looking at them, but as soon as you stop (like when you blink) they get closer to you.  And if they touch you, UH OH.  It's suspenseful and hilarious, although the 8 year old in me found it downright terrifying.  Blink also has the distinction of having two of the best lines in the series:

--"People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but *actually* from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... time-y wimey... stuff."

and

"Yeah, listen, listen, got to dash... things happening.  Well, four things.  Well, four things and a lizard."


"The Empty Child" and "The Doctor Dances."  So, I'm a bad Doctor Who fan because I haven't seen all of the first reboot season, and I probably never will.  It was slow, weird, and Nine was really off-putting for some reason.  Still, if you *must* watch something from first season, I'd recommend "The Empty Child" and "The Doctor Dances," which is a two-parter set in London during the Blitz.  It should come as no surprise that my favorite episodes are usually the ones that involve time travel.  Also, these episodes feature Captain Jack, everyone's favorite horndog.


Gold Star Episodes:  So, you've watched those three and decided to tackle Doctor Who.  These are the episodes I love the most, and you should look forward to seeing.  However, I'm a sap.  And honestly, there's *so much* going on with Doctor Who that I  don't always totally follow (like, WTF was with the Silence?  Was there ever a pay off?)  So while these episodes aren't necessarily the best-written, they are the ones that I'll happily rewatch with a bowl of mac and cheese and a bag of oreos.


"The Shakespeare Code."  The Doctor and Martha meet Shakespeare, who is played by Kev from Shameless, basically playing Kev+a functioning brain.  I think I like this one because Martha points out that as a black woman, maybe the 16th century isn't the best place for her.

"Human Nature/Family of Blood."  Again with the time travel.  This time, to England in 1913!  It's like Downton Abbey, but with aliens in a boarding school, and Viserys from Game of Thrones!

"Silence in the Library."  Donna and the Doctor go to a futuristic library that's REALLY REALLY SCARY.  It's also the introduction of the incomparable River Song, whose backstory is so great I can't bring myself to spoil it here.  Safe to say, I didn't see *that* coming.

"Vincent and the Doctor."  Oh man, this episode.  It made me cry SO HARD.  It's about the Doctor and Amy meeting Vincent van Gogh, and how he's being driven mad by a monster only he can see-- which is a pretty brilliant metaphor for depression.

"The Pandorica Opens/The Big Bang."  These episodes made the list because OMG RORY AS THE LAST CENTURION and I love Rory a lot, okay?

"Let's Kill Hitler."  "You've got a time machine.  I've got a gun.  What the hell-- let's kill Hitler!"  It doesn't get better than that.  Although "Well, I was on my way to this gay Gypsy bar mitzvah for the disabled when I suddenly thought, 'Gosh, the Third Reich's a bit rubbish. I think I'll kill the Fuhrer,'" is a close second.



Verdict:  If you're a nerd: essential.  If not, give it a shot anyway, because it's great.