Things I've Learned From Law & Order

1) If I am arrested and the cops do not read me my Miranda Rights the very second they arrest me, I can confess to the crime and then go commit some more crimes and there's nothing they can do about it.

2) Alternatively, if the cops really dislike a suspect, it's totally fine for them to beat said suspect up.

3) Science is literally magic.

4) Psychologists are mind readers, and people with mental illnesses always present textbook symptoms, and ONLY textbook symptoms.
       4b) If I am arrested for a crime I hope B.D. Wong doesn't question me, because all he'd have to do is make his concerned-face-with-furrowed-brow and I'd start crying and reveal everything and then ask him for a hug.

5) The Manhattan SVU's hallway to the elevators is a super dangerous place, as about twice a year a grieving family member murders a suspect there.
      5b) In fact, stay out of the Manhattan SVU altogether, as THEY ONCE GOT BOMBED BY A PIZZA.

6) Elliott Stabler is kind of unstable, but apparently that makes him a phenomenal cop.

7) The layout of all of New York.  I've never been there, but I'm 75% sure I know where everything is and that it will only take about 5 minutes to get there, no matter where I start from.
      7b) When experiencing an emergency in New York, the best thing to do is call a cop you met once and wait for them to get there.  You will be dead when they arrive, but that will give them 30 more minutes of plot.

8) Ice-T is a cop now.

9) Cops shoot people all the time, and the therapy they have to attend later is bullshit that keeps them from doing their jobs.
    9b) Sometimes though, it has amazing relevance to the case they're investigating.

10)  Jack McCoy is the greatest lawyer that ever lawyered (with the exception of my husband, of course).




For real though, I respect Law and Order way more than other cop shows.  My attorney husband can't even be in the room with me when I'm watching it, which is a shame, because it is great TV comfort food.  In fact, I was sick earlier this summer and I spent most of a day laying on the couch watching Law and Order SVU on netflix, because I could drift in and out of consciousness and still follow the plot (granted, I've already seen every episode).  However, I distinguish Law and Order from crap like CSI because unlike those shows, Law and Order seems to take it's job of "educating" the public seriously, particularly SVU.  That show has done a really great job of bringing sexual assault out into the open, and showing people that even prostitutes get raped, or that many rapes are perpetrated by long-term partners, but that doesn't make it okay, and that men can be the victims of rape too.  It might sound facile-- and there's the whole "benefitting from our society's lurid fascination with sex and murder" thing to take into account-- but if you think about it, nearly every episode of SVU has a scene where the detectives sit around the squad room listing facts and debating the case.  Sometimes it's statistics about child abuse, or AIDS transmission, or domestic violence, and then one detective (usually Munch or Ice-T) brings up the usual doubts: is she lying?  Could he/she be doing this for attention?  Is this [completely overacted mental illness] real?  Then another detective (usually Olivia) responds with *more* statistics and a heartfelt plea to take the victim seriously.  In an age where a shocking amount of people (and public figures) think women make up rape claims at the drop of the hat, I think SVU does a lot of good in showing just how vulnerable we all are to sexual assault, and that *no one* deserves it.  If you think about Law and Order as a schlocky and kind of manipulative public service announcement, it gets a lot better-- as long as you realize that their presentation of the legal process is pretty much bullshit.