The Avengers: Why You Should Watch This Movie

So, this post goes out to one Jweigs, who HAS NOT SEEN THE AVENGERS, MAKING ME SERIOUSLY RECONSIDER OUR 20+ YEAR FRIENDSHIP.  Really, girl.  Get your shit together.





With that out of the way, if you aren't Jweigs and you haven't seen The Avengers yet: tell me, what's it like to spend a year in a cave?  I KID, I KID.  The Avengers is a smashbangboom popcorn movie, about a dysfunctional group of superheroes trying to keep themselves from killing each other while also saving the world with a minimum amount of civilian casualties.  They are moderately successful at both.  Written and directed by the incomparable Joss Whedon, The Avengers ties together loose ends from both the Captain America movie and Thor, plus brings in characters from Iron Man and the Hulk.  Thor's brother Loki is trying to take over the world for some other alien species, and this involves blue...energy?  I dunno.  It's sort of not important, you know?  It probably helps to have seen Captain America and Thor first, but it's not strictly necessary.  The important thing is, there are a whole lot of divas with superpowers, and few of them are what you'd call "team players."  This movie is essentially a superhero ropes course with real life stakes.  It is also SO MUCH FUN.  I mean, there are reasons to not see it/not like it, but not many.  To help, I have compiled a list of reasons it's okay to either skip or not like The Avengers, plus a list of reasons why you're an idiot if you do.



Reasons against seeing The Avengers:

The movie's weird insistence that RDJ is taller than Gwenyth Paltrow (he clearly isn't guys, and having her be in bare feet for their scenes together is fooling NO ONE).

Captain America stays fully clothed the entire movie.

Thor stays fully clothed the entire movie.

Black Widow stays fully clothed the entire movie.

I should really just save time and say: no one takes their shirt off.  I AM DISAPPOINT.

I think Joss Whedon made a minor mistake when he gave Thor the line "He's adopted" after hearing about Loki's atrocities.  Guys, Thor is a lot of things: sweet, handsome, loyal, strong, and really good at booming out his opinions.  Things Thor is not: WITTY.

Plot hole: at the end of the movie Thor, a major point is that "he's trying to find a way back to earth to see Jane, but it might be impossible" and this movie's just all "Oh, nevermind.  Guess it's not that hard.  But Natalie Portman was too expensive for a cameo, so Jane's 'at a conference.'"  BULLSHIT.

You have something against comic book movies.  And laughter.  And fun.




Reasons TO see The Avengers:

Nick Fury is there to be Samuel L. Motherfucking Jackson, this time with an eyepatch.

Black Widow is smart, tough, and she cares deeply for Hawkeye but *isn't* in love with him (God bless you, Joss, for understanding that men and women can be friends.)

I kind of love Captain America because he (and his movie, which is good, and you should watch it if you haven't) is really, really old fashioned.  He's just a damn good guy and almost painfully earnest.  Despite his 1940s morals, he easily accepts Black Widow as a fellow soldier-- probably because of his past with Peggy, which: *sobs wildly.*

Mark Ruffalo has talked a lot about playing the Hulk as someone dealing with addiction, and he really does an excellent job.  That, plus his ABSOLUTELY EPIC BROMANCE with Tony Stark, has me wanting a new reboot of The Hulk with Ruffalo.

In this movie Thor's costume is a kicky little sleeveless number, so: YAY.

Loki's speech to Natasha about how he'll make Hawkeye kill her is downright TERRIFYING.  Seriously, am I alone in thinking he was threatening Black Widow with her best friend RAPING her and then killing her?  That is seriously fucked up, Joss.  I might be definitely am reading too much into this, but I think Joss Whedon is making a very specific point about female heroes and action movies with Loki and Black Widow.  Aside from their dialogue on the helicarrier, in the climactic battle both Loki and Black Widow jump off a moving object, do a shoulder roll and then finish with a "sexy hair flip."  If that didn't make sense, just watch this:

 The move is in the first 30 seconds or so.  See how it's edited so that these two moves happen in direct succession, with Black Widow first?  Personally, I think it's interesting that it's something we accept with female action heroes, even though it looks stupid.  By repeating that movement with Loki, he's highlighting how differently female action heroes are treated.  Or Tom Hiddleston thought it looked cool and wanted to do it too.  I have no idea.

Agent Coulson is a Captain America fanboy, and it's ADORABLE.

As Joss himself has said, Captain America has the jaw of a hero.



And a few additions from my husband:

EVERYONE IS HOT IN TIGHT PANTS (Edited to add: YOU ARE CORRECT, SIR.)

There is a female lead without having to rely too much on being a sexy female lead.  (Edited to add: I seriously can't emphasize this enough.  I'm pretty sure the only times Black Widow's sexuality comes into play is right at the beginning when she uses it to turn the tables, and in Loki's horrifyingly amazing monologue.  And in that monologue, it's a THREAT to her sexuality.  This is practically unheard of, and is a large part of why I love Joss Whedon so much.)

There's no real love subplot, just all action, all the time. (Edited to add: again, this is why Joss Whedon is the greatest.  He lets friendships and relationships stand on their own, without shoe-horning in some awkward Captain America-Black Widow-Hawkeye love triangle, or something stupid like that.)

It is hilariously written, with really dry, witty humor.  (Edited to add: I love Joss Whedon banter, and Avengers has that in SPADES.  In SPADES, I tell you.)

Verdict:  Perfectly awesome, and if you this hasn't convinced you...I don't even know what to do with you.