The Five Most Embarrassing Movies I Own, and My Reasons For Purchasing Them

5) The Cutting Edge.  Reason:  It's not so much embarrassing to own, it's that I, a figure skater with a love of romantic comedies and fictional roguish men, did not see this movie until I was in COLLEGE.

4) Troy:  Reason: Eric Bana as Hector, my Favorite Male Character in Greek Literature, Category: Epic Poems, Subcategory: Homer.  Also: Hector's wife Andromache, which is my number one "If I ever own a cat" name.

3)  High School Musical.  Reason: I'M SOARING, I'M FLYING.  THERE'S NOT A STAR IN HEAVEN THAT WE CAN'T REACH.  And the fact that Zac Efron's voice was "too manly" so they redubbed it with someone else's voice so he'd sound less sexually threatening.  That's right, ladies and gents: lock up your wives, daughters, husbands, and sons: THE ZEFRON'S HERE.

2) Star Wars: The Phantom Menace.  Reason: Go to hell, George Lucas.

1) The Lizzy McGuire Movie.  Reason: Because sometimes I just need to watch Hilary Duff bop around Rome pretending to be an Italian pop star.


Honorable Mention, Because My Husband Bought Them:  Matrix Reloaded and Matrix Revolutions.  Reason:  None.  There is no goddamn reason to own these two movies.  It makes it worse that my husband and I own these two, but not the first one.  You know, THE GOOD ONE.

10 Things I Hate About You: The TV Show

It is a fact universally acknowledged that 10 Things I Hate About You is the best teen movie of all time.

 Kat Stratford was a prickly, self-righteous, sort of mean leading lady, and man, she spoke to me-- a self-righteous and sort of mean teenager.  (I was just emerging from my no-friends* era of middle school, and Kat's disdain for the popular kids gave me an extra layer of self-defense that every friendless girl adopts because it means she's choosing to not have friends).

Patrick Verona was a dreamboat.

It was a match made in angry nerd-girl heaven.

So I was more than a little apprehensive when I heard that the Middle School Girl Channel (aka ABC Family) was making a TV show out of my beloved movie.  However, I was pleasantly surprised to find that while the show stays true to the theme of the movie, it quickly developed into its own thoroughly enjoyable little show that really deserved more than one season.

*Disclaimer:  I did have some friends in middle school, it was just that they mostly didn't go to my school where I was a literal pariah for all of 7th grade.  To the few kids (at my school and otherwise) who did stick with me through that, I am forever grateful.  I don't mean to be a downer, but I do want those people to know just how much their friendship meant to me during an incredibly difficult time.  I probably didn't acknowledge that at the time, but I should have.

Pretty Little Liars: Great show, or GREATEST show?

You guys.

You guys.

YOU GUYS.

Things I've cried at that are embarrassing

1. The end of Captain America
2. The beginning of Star Trek
3. Roughly 10 minutes of the last Harry Potter*
4. Google's It Gets Better commercial
5. A McDonald's Olympic commercial
6. Extreme Home Makeover
7. Every Jin and Sun episode of LOST*
8. At least one episode of Revenge
9. The series finale of Dawson's Creek
10. Several times during The Hunger Games*

*These things aren't embarrassing because I cried (after all, they are all well-written and intended to be emotional) but because I didn't just get teary-eyed so much as full-on ugly cry for 10+ minutes.