Teen Wolf: This one's gonna be embarrassing

Yeah, so, Teen Wolf.  Not the Michael J. Fox movie that my husband won't turn off if he happens upon it on a Saturday afternoon, or even the lesser-loved Jason Bateman sequel, but the MTV-trying-to-be-Vampire-Diaries-mopefest.

I kind of can't stop watching it.  To the extent that as soon as I finished the first season on Netflix Instant, I watched the entire second season on MTV.com, even though their player is all kinds of buggy.

I know.

Minnesota Marriage Amendment: In which I wade into politics

Here's the thing.

If you're reading here, you probably know me already.  If you don't...well, hello, it's nice to meet you.  The point is, I'm a white girl from the whitest town you can imagine (in terms of population and rhythm) and my husband isn't (in terms of skin color and rhythm-- the man has got some MOVES).  Up until 1967, my own marriage would have been illegal in 16 states.  It was only through the Supreme Court case Loving vs. Virginia that laws barring interracial marriage were struck down.  If it had been left to a state-by-state popular vote, who knows how long it would have taken for my marriage be legal in all 50 states, as "disapproval" of interracial relationships is still shockingly common -- I'm looking at you, former Louisiana Justice of the Peace Keith Bardwell, who in 2009 refused to sign an interracial couple's marriage license because he disapproves of interracial relationships.  (You know what I disapprove of?  Bigots like that getting to have rights, BUT THAT IS WHY RIGHTS SHOULD NOT BE LEFT TO A POPULAR VOTE).

I cannot imagine how painful that would be-- to have people look at my marriage and say "Nope.  Not allowed," and then VOTE ON IT. But that is exactly what people are trying to do in Minnesota, by putting an amendment to "preserve marriage" on the ballot this fall.  It's a horrifying thought, this idea that the love between two consenting adults is somehow threatening to all marriages everywhere.  It's unimaginably unfair to our LGBT citizens that we're even considering this amendment.  (As for civil unions, they aren't the solution either since I think we can all agree that "separate but equal" was a shitty idea the first time around).  

How incredibly, incredibly arrogant to think we deserve the right to vote on another person's relationship.  Do we really want to be putting the validity of people's marriages to a vote?  Because I'm a bitch on wheels, and I really don't think those people would want me voting on their relationships.  I don't think they'd like the outcome.  (Oh, you're a bigot?  DIVORCES ALL AROUND!)  Besides, gay marriage is *already illegal* in the state of Minnesota.  This amendment is just to make extra-super-sure that if, say, a judge looks at the current law and says "Yeah, that's discriminatory" they wouldn't be able to overturn it.  Let me repeat: gay marriage is illegal in Minnesota, but some people are so worried that gay people might, at some point in the future, be able to get married and have legally recognized families, that they want to CHANGE THE STATE'S CONSTITUTION.  This is a drastic step, and quite frankly, it's disgusting.  I simply cannot understand why allowing two adults to get married is such a threat that we need to make it doubly illegal.

EDITED TO ADD:  According to my husband's research, Alabama was the last state to reverse their ban on interracial marriages, which had been added to the state's constitution (much like Minnesota is trying to do with gay marriage).  They finally undid the ban in 2000.  The point is not to trash Alabama (this law was likely unenforced since federal supersedes state law), but to point out that once you enshrine discrimination in the state's constitution, it takes a VERY long time to undo that damage.  Let's not make our children ashamed of us, okay Minnesotans?

On a lighter note, who on *earth* could be against more weddings?  WEDDINGS ARE SUPER FUN.  Booze, dinner with your friends, and then dancing for the rest of the night while everyone is in fancy clothes.  It's like prom, but with alcohol and lifelong commitment.  Several of our LGBT friends attended our wedding, and I cannot wait to return the favor and get drunk and dance to 90s pop at theirs.  Who could possibly be against that?

As a married person, I can confidently say that no one else's marriage or divorce has had any direct impact on my own.  Also, churches don't have to perform *any* wedding they disagree with, so there can be no complaining that marriage equality would discriminate against religions.  My lapsed-Catholic self and Buddhist husband couldn't have walked into a Baptist church or a mosque and demanded that they marry us no matter what.  In fact, a church could refuse to marry us simply for being an interracial couple, and that would be their right (they'd be bigots, but it'd be legal).  In short, there is no religious component involved in a legal document.  Your church doesn't believe in gay marriage?  Fine.  They don't have to perform them.  Plus, the bible says an awful lot of things we don't believe in any more--such as slavery being A-OK.  Either the bible is right 100% of the time, or it isn't.  So what will it be, folks: bringing back slavery, or gay marriage?  Personally, I'd chose "consenting adults marrying the person of their choice" over "people getting to own other people," but that's just me.

Finally, as I said before, I can't imagine how painful it would be to have the "morality" of my relationship be put to a popular vote.  I can't imagine a world where I couldn't marry my husband, or I could, but it only counted in some states, or it's called something else entirely so as to preserve the "sanctity" of a government contract that isn't religious in any way. (At least my marriage license has exactly zero mentions of God, Jesus, or the Church; I don't know about yours.)  It would break my heart for that to happen to me, so I can't stay silent as it happens to someone else.


There's enough pain and suffering in this world.  Don't add to it.

Vote no.

How to avoid Godwin's Law-ing yourself: A Handy Guide to Political Arguments

Okay, look.  I'm going to try very hard and keep this relatively non-partisan, because the fault lies on both sides.  But if there's one thing I hate, it's historically inaccurate name-calling.  As the political season heats up, I'm seeing more and more mistakes of that kind, and it is, quite frankly, driving me bonkers.  I don't mind political discussions, but I do mind when those political discussions get derailed by poorly thought out buzzwords that do not mean what you think they mean.

Also, for those of you not up with current internet lingo:  Godwin's Law states that the first person to invoke Nazis in a fight automatically loses.

Princess Movies: Superheroes with better clothes and less vigilantism.

So, since I've started this blog I've come to realize my taste in movies and TV falls largely into two categories:  sci-fi/fantasy, and teenybopper bullshit (I suppose "High Camp" could also be a category, but that's less of a type of entertainment and more of a way of life).

I make no apologies for this, as those two categories are infinitely entertaining.

Anyways, lately I've been burning through a whole mess of Young Adult fiction (thanks to Katie F. for providing most of it) and I decided to rewatch the Princess Diaries movies.  I'd seen them when they came out and vaguely remembered liking them (although the first is far superior to the second, for reasons I'll get to in a moment), and then figured I'd throw in a review of The Prince and Me, because what the hell, I like Julia Stiles AND it's set in Wisconsin.

An Ode to LOST: A show that made me cry approximately 1,000 times

Oh, LOST.  You are quite possibly the most addicting show I've ever seen, and that includes Pretty Little Liars and Battlestar Galactica.  You made me happy, sad, angry, and really, really annoyed several times over, and even when you had an episode entirely on Nikki and Paolo (ugh, those two) I couldn't quit you.

Dean vs. Jess vs. Logan: An academic investigation into the models of masculinity within Gilmore Girls and the relative suitability of each man's relationship with Rory Gilmore

Camelot vs. Merlin: In which I review two shows, one I watched a year ago and the other I've watched for 15 episodes

First, a disclaimer.  As you can see from the title of this post, this is going to be a little ad hoc.  I watched Camelot when it was still on Netflix Instant (I think it was originally on Starz?  Maybe Showtime?), which was at least a year ago, and I really didn't like it enough to rewatch it for this, so I'm a little hazy on the details.  I've also only watched maybe 15 episodes of Merlin so far, so keep that in mind as well.  I plan on judging the shows in head to head combat on their various merits, interpretations of characters, and presence of James Purefoy.  Without further ado, Camelot vs. Merlin: a Battle Royale between two kind of crappy King Arthur shows.

Game of Thrones, Part 3: Spoileriffic Edition

For this (hopefully final) edition of "Things I love about Game of Thrones," I'm not going to bother with spoiler warnings or keeping things super vague.  This post is about characters I'm most excited to see in the next season, which is inherently spoilery anyway.  So if you don't want to get spoiled for books 3-5 (and accompanying seasons), I suggest not reading this one at all.

Game of Thrones Part 2: At least this will be shorter than the books

This post will cover the characters I should mention, even though I only sort of care what happens to them, and miscellaneous characters that I like enough to mention but aren't my total faves.

Once again, I've read all the books, and after you have it's sort of hard to talk about the show like you haven't.  So to avoid spoilers, here's the plan: I will make vague references to the books and future character arcs, and then include footnote explanations.  If you don't want to be spoiled for any of the books or future seasons, don't read the footnotes.  However, I will also assume you've seen both seasons (even though HBO suuuuucks when it comes to making this show available) so if you haven't finished second season, maybe wait until you have to read this post.

Game of Thrones: Mean Girls with beheadings

They would never cancel Game of Thrones!  It's a cross over hit!  It's not just for fantasy enthusiasts-- they tell human stories in a fantasy world."
                                                                         --Ben Wyatt, Parks and Rec.


Note: I've read all the books, and once you have it's sort of hard to talk about the show like you haven't.  So to avoid spoilers, here's the plan: I will make vague references to the books and future character arcs, and then include footnote explanations.  If you don't want to be spoiled for any of the books or future seasons, don't read the footnotes.  However, I will also assume you've seen both seasons (even though HBO suuuuucks when it comes to making this show available) so if you haven't finished second season, maybe wait until you have to read this post.

Note #2:  So I started typing this, and realized that it would be crazy-long if I talked about *everything* I wanted to cover.  So, I'll do this in a series of three: today, season one and current favorites, then "the mehs" or characters I feel obligated to mention but don't care that much about, and ending with "upcoming favorites," which could also be titled "This post is going to get very spoilery, very fast."


So: Game of Thrones. If you haven't watched it yet, YOU SHOULD. (Except for you, Mom and Dad, because it's really gory and depressing, and I don't think you'd like it.)  But for the rest of you, put that shit at the top of your Netflix queue, like, yesterday.  It's a hard show to summarize, but basically it's a medieval world based on the War of the Roses, with dragons.  And since it's HBO: a lot, a lot of boobs.  Like Ben Wyatt said, it tells human stories in a fantasy setting-- if you consider incest, betrayal, and incomprehensible political machinations to be "human stories," which I think is debatable.  (Explanatory note:  The Seven Kingdoms are on the continent of Westeros, which looks like England flipped on a vertical axis but is actually the size of South America.  That's why it takes so goddamn long to get places).  There are four main families playing "the game of thrones:"  the honorable-to-a-fault Starks, the wealthy, scheming, and occasionally incestuous Lannisters, the boring and sometimes gay Baratheons, and the insane and totally inbred Targaryens.  The Starks, Lannisters, and Baratheons are fighting over the right to rule Westeros, while the last living Targaryen wanders around the desert on a different continent with the only living dragons in the world.  There's also an imminent ice-zombie invasion gathering in the north, so there's, you know, a lot going on.  I struggled with how to write this, because it's hard to make fun of this show-- it's just. so. good.  Then I realized I can still make fun of the characters and their stupid choices, and I was back in business.

Season One Favorites:

Ned Stark:

You would, Ned.

I don't have much to say about Ned-- I mostly just wanted to use this picture.  Ned Stark, I love you, but you're a moron.

Khal Drogo:

Hello, I'm an uncomfortable

 racial stereotype.

I also don't have too much to say about Khal Drogo, although I think Jason Momoa did a great job with a difficult character.  I mean, he's raping a main character in the first episode (sure, they're married and it's "expected of her," but it's still awful) so he's sort of hard to like.  Still, Drogo's main purpose is as a badass, in which case: mission accomplished.  Also, we should give Momoa a hand for the amount of pushups he clearly had to do.

Viserys Targaryen:

My face is just naturally creepy, okay?

Oh, Viserys.  YOU SO CRAZY.  And not adorable crazy, but totally and completely nuts, in a way that's still compelling to watch.  You also win for best death in the first season, because whoa, that was intense, even for this series.  Also, I wanted an excuse to use this meme, which is hilarious.

Current Favorites:

All the Stark kids, except for Bran (sorry Bran.)

Robb Stark:

There are literally thousands of photos of

this guy looking crazy-handsome.

Honestly, Robb is only a so-so character for me.  He's honest and noble like his dad, and his storyline as a boy king struggling with his duties is moderately compelling, but when all is said and done, there's not much to him.  But when you have a face like that, you get to be as boring as you want.

Jon Snow:

Hands down, the best hair in Westeros.

Ned Stark's bastard son, (1) Jon Snow hasn't done much other than join the celibate warriors in the Night's Watch, but I love him and his great hair, constant emo-face be damned.  If this were real life, I'd probably roll my eyes at him and make a joke about listening to way too much Dashboard Confessional, but it isn't, so I'll love him and his mopey-ness anyway.  His arc in the third book is awesome, and "Edd, fetch me a block" is one of the few fist-pump worth moments in the series (2).  Okay, so maybe he should go in "upcoming favorites" but this is my blog and I want him to go in current favorites, so shut up.  Also: that hair.  

Sansa Stark:

Second best hair in Westeros.

Like her bastard brother, Sansa hasn't done much yet except accidentally betray Ned, get treated horribly by the Lannisters, and be awkwardly hit on by her mother's childhood friend. (Gross, Littlefinger, GROSS).  However, I think Sophie Turner has done a wonderful job showing Sansa's transformation from naive little girl to world-weary woman who is rightfully frightened by the people around her.

Arya Stark:

What she lacks in great hair, she makes up in

sheer awesomeness.

If Arya isn't one of your favorite characters, I don't think we're watching the same show.  She's a fierce survivor, and the absolute boss of everything.  Her interactions with Tywin and Jaqen H'ghar are the highlight of the show, no question, although Arya, Hot Pie, and Gendry hanging out together is a close second. (3)  Arya Stark for president of everything, ever.

Rickon Stark:

Rickon's sort of a psychopath.

Rickon's only here because of that scene where he's smashing walnuts like he's killing people.  Bravo, craziest Stark, bravo.

Tyrion Lannister:

Fun fact: Peter Dinklage is also in my favorite

episode of 30 Rock.

Like Arya, Tyrion is everyone's favorite.  He's witty, charming, and just the tiniest bit vulnerable.  His "Those are brave men outside.  Let's go kill them" speech is a great part of an already awesome episode, and Tyrion's interactions with Bronn, Cersei, and pretty much everyone provide some much needed humor in a very bleak series.  You know how I know he's everyone's favorite?  I may or may not have heard some of my friends chanting "Tyrion Lannister!" at a bar like it was a war cry.  Tyrion: favorite of slightly-drunk 20 somethings everywhere.

Cersei Lannister:

Boo, you whore.

I cannot get enough of Cersei Lannister.  Yes, she's horrible, and having an incestuous relationship with her twin brother, and her son Joffrey makes Jeffrey Dahmer seem like a pleasant dinner companion.  But she's basically Regina George, if Regina had the power to murder her enemies.  But Cersei seems sort of aware of the mess she's made (at least on the show; she's more unhinged in the books), and I like self-aware Cersei.  Also, the scene in Blackwater (Season 2, episode 9) where she's telling Sansa what might happen if the city falls is unbelievably good.  Mostly I just enjoy her mean-girling of Sansa, even though I like Sansa, because it makes me laugh.

Okay, that's (finally) it for my current and past favorite characters.  Up next: characters I only sort of like, such as Bran.  Sorry, Bran, but you're boring.

***Spoilery footnotes***

(1)  There's an excellent fan theory that Jon is not Ned's son, but rather Lyanna's (Ned's deceased sister)  with Rhaegar Targaryen (Daenarys' deceased oldest brother and former heir to the throne, before King Robert led a rebellion against Rhaegar's father, and jesus this show is hard to explain).  Since the books are called "A Song of Ice and Fire," this indicates that Jon might be *the* song: he would be part ice (Stark) and part fire (Targaryen).  This makes a lot of sense, because can you really see Ned Stark breaking his marriage vows?  It seems...unlikely.

(2)  One of the men who helped kill Ned Stark (named Janos Slynt) is sent to the Wall.  After a whole bunch of awesomeness and shenanigans, Jon is named Lord Commander of the Night's Watch.  Slynt defies one of his commands and Jon orders him hanged for treason, but then stops himself and it looks like Jon might pardon Slynt.  But then he says "Edd, fetch me a block" and chops Slynt's motherfucking head off.

(3)  In the books, Arya never meets Tywin Lannister, and her whole storyline in the second book is much bleaker.  This is my favorite change from the books, because of *course* Tywin would respect Arya's intelligence and survive-at-all-costs nature, and their wary bonding was a joy to watch.  This change also cuts down on the endless "Arya wanders the riverlands, witnessing atrocities" storyline, which is rough-- and her upcoming storyline is even rougher, so I think this was a wise choice.